There are many interesting customs and superstitions concerning marriage. Here we take a light-hearted look at a few of them...
Dressing for the Occasion
We'll start with that best-known rule of bridal attire:
Something old, something new,
something borrowed, something blue
and a silver sixpence in her shoe. The old represents the life the bride is leaving behind, so it should preferably be something handed down from mother or grandmother. Likewise, the new symbolises the new life that she is embarking upon: any new item will suffice. The borrowed item - a lace handkerchief is considered appropriate - should belong to a happily married close friend, the idea being that her happiness will rub off on the bride. The blue represents the Biblical ideal of purity, and must be sky blue, the colour of the heavens. Traditionally, it would take the form of a circlet of blue flowers stitched inside the gown at the hem or seam: nowadays, it might be a blue ribbon on the bridal garter. The silver sixpence is for wealth, of course, but not necessarily in the form of hard cash. It should be placed in the left shoe, which traditionally represents the womb, and is supposed to ensure spiritual wealth, fertility and marital harmony.
The wedding dress is a relatively recent concept. Until the latter part of the nineteenth Century, most brides simply wore their Sunday Best dress. The tradition of marrying in white began amongst wealthy women in the sixteenth century, and gained popularity in Victorian times. Green is considered to be a particularly unlucky colour for a wedding dress, unless the bride is Irish. This traditional rhyme offers advice to the bride on the subject of dress colour:
Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, your love will be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink. The last stitch should be put in the bridal gown just before the bride leaves for church, to signify that her happiness will likewise be incomplete until she marries.
The veil is a very much older tradition than the wedding dress, dating back to Roman times. Its purpose, like the presence of the similarly-dressed bridesmaids, was to confound evil spirits and would-be kidnappers. Indeed, it was the threat of kidnap that led to the custom of the bride standing on the groom's left at the altar, so that he could hold on to her with his left hand and wield his sword to fend off the enemy.
Although nowadays the blusher is lifted as the bride arrives at the altar, it used to be that her face remained covered until the couple were pronounced man and wife. This served a useful purpose in the days of arranged marriages: as the groom did not see his bride until they were lawfully wed, there was no possibility of him bolting before the ceremony because he didn't like the look of her!
The garter should be worn on the right leg: to wear it on the left signifies that one is a witch. The garter is best worn just above the knee, to preserve the bride's modesty when the photographer asks the groom to remove it without using his hands - just for the album, of course.
The final part of the bridal ensemble is the bouquet. The flowers should be tied with ribbons, symbolising the good wishes of her friends. It is considered unlucky for a bridal bouquet to contain both red and white flowers, though either colour is acceptable on its own or in combination with other colours.
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The Ring
The wedding ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand because it was once believed that a special vein ran from this finger directly to the heart. If the ring is dropped during the ceremony, it should be picked up only by the clergyman or registrar conducting the ceremony. If the wife loses her wedding ring at any time, the husband should immediately buy another, place it on her finger and repeat the lines of the marriage vow. Top
It's All in the Timing
June is a universally favoured month for weddings, and not just because good weather can generally be relied upon. Its popularity is rooted in the fact that it was named for the goddess Juno. As the adored and faithful wife of Jupiter, she is said to bestow special blessings on those who marry in her month. May, named for Maia, wife of Vulcan and patroness of the aged, is said to be a particularly unlucky time to marry.
Married in January's hoar and rime, widowed you'll be before your time,
Married in February's sleepy weather, life you'll tread in time together,
Married when March winds shrill and roar, your home will be on a distant shore,
Married beneath April's changing skies, a chequered path before you lies,
Married when bees over May blossoms flit, strangers around your board will sit,
Married in the month of roses, June, life will be one long honeymoon,
Married in July with flowers ablaze, bittersweet memories on after days,
Married in August's heat and drowse, lover and friend in your chosen spouse,
Married in September's golden glow, smooth and serene your life will go,
Married when leaves in October thin, toil and hardship now begin,
Married in veils of November mist, fortune your wedding ring has kissed,
Married in days of December cheer, love's star shines brighter from year to year. Some days, too, are considered luckier than others for marrying:
Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday the best of all,
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday no luck at all. Top
Just for Luck
It is considered lucky for a bride to wake to the sound of birdsong on her wedding day, to find a spider on her wedding gown, to feed a cat before she leaves the house, and to see a black cat, a spider, a dove, a lamb, a toad, an elephant or a chimney sweep en route to her wedding. For luck, the bride should take one last look in a full length mirror before leaving for church, but once she takes the first step on her journey, she must not look again. Many brides leave off some small part of their ensemble, such as a shoe, when taking that last look, so as to ward off any bad luck if they later catch a glimpse of their reflection. It is deemed unlucky for the bride to cry before the ceremony, or to see a cockerel or a pig on her way to church. The bride should enter the church with her right foot first, taking care not to stumble at the threshold. The groom should keep his back turned until she arrives at his side at the altar, and when she gets there, they should smile at one another. The saying Happy the bride that the sun shines on refers to the days when couples were married at the church doorway. Top
After the Ceremony
The throwing of rice or confetti over a couple is a time-honoured gesture to bestow fertility and abundance on the couple. Although guests nowadays go to great lengths to ensure the confetti hits its targets, superstition actually decrees that it should fall around the happy couple. Horseshoes are presented to the bride for luck. These should be real horseshoes that have been worn by a horse (see our selection of genuine lucky horseshoes in our Bridal Gifts Department).
It is said that whoever makes the first purchase will be the dominant partner within the marriage. The wise bride carries a penny to buy a pin from her bridesmaid on leaving the church.
The wedding cake is yet another symbol of fertility and prosperity. In Roman times, a slice of cake was crumbled over the heads of the happy couple. The couple cut the cake together to affirm their intention to share everything henceforth. The top tier of the cake is traditionally retained for use as a Christening cake for the couple's first child.
One should never refuse a slice of wedding cake, as this is considered an insult to the bride, as is toasting the couple with anything but alcohol.
The distributing of wedding favours is a very old custom that has regained popularity in recent years. Traditionally, they are given only to the ladies, and consist of a box or net containing five sugared almonds representing health, wealth, fertility, happiness and luck.
The custom of tossing the bouquet is believed to have originated in the fourteenth century. Brides were considered to be lucky, and guests would try to secure some of that luck for themselves by snatching a piece of the bridal ensemble. Dresses could be torn to shreds in the process. In order to avoid this, the practice emerged of tossing the bridal bouquet into the crowd, giving the bride the opportunity to escape unscathed. The bride should stand with her back to her unmarried female guests and throw the bouquet over her left shoulder. The lucky lady who catches the bouquet will be the next to experience marital bliss.
A similar tradition surrounds the bridal garter, which was removed by the groom to indicate that the bride had surrendered her virginity to him. The garter is tossed like the bouquet, but by the groom and to the male guests. Again, the lucky recipient will be the next to walk up the aisle. Top
The Homecoming
The bride must, of course, be carried over the threshold the first time she enters the marital home. The reasons for this are twofold. Firstly, it avoids the possibility of her stumbling, which would presage bad luck for the couple. Secondly, the custom originated in the days when a man seeking a bride would simply mount a raid and carry off the woman of his choice: she might well still be struggling to escape as she arrived at her new home! A very old English custom dictates that boiling water should be poured over the threshold to purify it before the bride enters. Once she has crossed the threshold, the bride should carry bread and salt into every room to affirm her position as mistress of the house. And finally... an old Scottish custom has the mother-in-law break shortbread over the bride's head to ensure plenty. Top
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